Bpd saying hurtful things Acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, and understanding are all good things. Jan 1, 2021 · It might look mean, and hurtful. By no self control I meant saying things I say. Learn strategies to express emotions, manage relationships, and enhance interpersonal interactions for better overall well-being. “I become vile to them. ‘We’re scared you’re going to leave, even when things are good. Or, maybe after spending time together, you often find yourself feeling drained or exhausted due to the constant drama and Jul 8, 2024 · Those with BPD say hurtful things and engage in risky and inappropriate behaviors. com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201405/bpd-does-not-imply-manipulative-or-sadistic. Explosive Anger “ My sudden explosive anger over very minute things. Despite your apology it is difficult to just forgive and forget. Some signs of borderline personality disorder in men are anger, fear of being left, and rapid mood changes. Feelings of guilt and shame often follow outbursts, but these feelings do not prevent future episodes. Nov 15, 2018 · When you live with “quiet” borderline personality disorder (BPD), oftentimes you’re used to “acting in” — counter to the “acting out” people have come to associate with BPD. Just the opportunity to say, what you said wounded me deeply. When relating to them, you must supply the missing boundary for there to be any Sep 6, 2017 · Do you know the things you should do or the things you should say to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? If not, join the millions of family, friends, and/or coworkers who don’t. They can be sarcastic and say cruel, mean things. This is Part VI of an ongoing series of posts. I sometimes in the middle of a verbal outburst Jan 1, 2021 · again, i think the BPD is the exception. Jan 1, 2021 · He can say mean and hurtful things in that state. I know I have responsibility for the things I say, but I wouldn’t say hurtful things like, ‘We should just end the relationship now,’ if I didn’t have BPD driving the irrational, chaotic, fearful thoughts that make me say these things. this can be, apparently for several Jul 9, 2018 · Learning to communicate needs directly and effectively is something everyone struggles with at some point in their lives. How he said he couldn't look at my ugly face. When feeling threatened, individuals with BPD often use others' thoughts and feelings to hurt them. People with BPD are usually traumatized by ACTUAL abandonment or their emotional needs neglected at a very young age. List of discussion groups; Making a first post; Find last post; Discussion group guidelines. For folks with borderline personality disorder (many of whom grew up in incredibly invalidating or abusive environments) this can be especially difficult. Maybe what he said triggered past trauma that has not been dealt with. Share. Treatment of BPD [ Video ] Getting a Loved One Into Therapy; Top 50 Questions Members Ask; Home page; Forum. Now imagine dealing with the demands of life with such little sleep. this can be, apparently for several May 12, 2014 · People with BPD may say irrational things as if they really believe them. There are several things that people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) say that offer valuable insights into what it’s like to live with this condition. But, it still hurts and at minimum ruins my mood for a bit. Sep 30, 2016 · Learning all you can about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) It is important to learn all you can about BPD. I don't know healthy ways to express my anger. I try to look at it from this lens when my wife is saying hurtful things. Jan 24, 2018 · I say mean and hurtful things and all that does is make them abandon me. Email. People with this condition might seek to test your attachment to them through hurtful behavior or lash out with excessive harshness when they feel hurt or abandoned. Those 2 bullet points seem to be, at least in my own experience as a pwBPD and as a witness of other BPD+non BPD relationships, the most common reasons why a partner with BPD would knowingly say hurtful things besides just being inherently toxic. They may struggle to control their temper, leading to damaged relationships and feelings of guilt afterward. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Maybe you “test Jan 1, 2021 · again, i think the BPD is the exception. May 22, 2018 · Oftentimes, when someone is struggling with their mental health, they won’t come right out and say it. Tips. Romantic relationship in or near breakup; Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD; Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD Are you living with BPD and in a difficult relationship with someone you think may be narcissistic? Perhaps they say hurtful things or make comments that make you feel like your feelings and opinions don’t matter. She said some extremely hurtful things to me that I wrote down in my phone. It is derogatory and said during a time that was sensitive. Then, usually less than a week later, she'd either moved on from them and completely forgotten her anger, or she'd be trying to get them back because in her mind everything was good again. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. ’ One of the biggest symptoms of BPD is fear of abandonment and this can occur even when things in the When I'm hurt, I make a choice to get angry (I guess I've been doing this since years as some defensive strategy) But this choice is out of my control when I'm angry. "I love you and I think that is important that we express only what we really think, I know that I cross a line by saying those hurtful things so I want to know if we can continue in a relationship where we only express what we really think taking into consideration each other feelings". So, when people with BPD are in the “devaluation” phase, they tend to do and say hurtful things to people they love. It is a painful and confusing cycle for everyone involved. 11 Things People With BPD Say. My Gf (2fF) split on me (23TF) about 2 days ago, started saying hurtful things like how I only cause her stress and how it is hard to love me. They might break objects, slam doors, or even harm themselves or others. Dec 24, 2023 · Key points. The inability to regulate emotions becomes more pronounced, leading to rapid mood swings and explosive anger. Pain Sep 17, 2024 · During these intense rage episodes, a person with BPD may say hurtful things they later regret or engage in destructive behaviors. “They must hate me. Communication challenges are common in BPD. 1 Jul 25, 2024 · You say to consider that she is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Often, family members are at a total loss when first attempting to deal with their loved one with BPD. The day after a common friend we have ( who is bipolar) took her drinking. the problem with the BPD is, they will project, invent, create, throw at you and accuse you of things that sound VERY strange or out of nowhere. Answers to questions like bipolar people mean the hurtful things they say don’t count if sleep deprivation is a factor for an erratic mood. Tweet. It's been a year. ” — Danielle H. 15 votes, 21 comments. and with them, there are a lot of different answers. 12. See my post above. ” “When someone doesn’t answer me or leave me on read my immediate thought is, ‘They hate you. “Self-pity won’t help. 10 Things People with BPD May Do While Splitting. ” —Bekah M. My friend would say the most hurtful, angry things to people/about people. Especially. Redirecting to https://www. Say hurtful things; Ghost others; Emotionally detach; Cancel plans; Over-analyze; Isolate themselves; Explode at things others view as no big deal; Lash out unexpectedly; Block people on social media; Become irritable; Jump to conclusions; Before You Read My Deepest, Darkest Thoughts… Yep. ” — Amy C. psychologytoday. This kind of sleep deprivation leads to crankiness and plays a huge part in irritability. ” We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I say horrible things that will make them want to leave me. That's what I mean by losing control. Do you mean that she is actually diagnosed? In either case, her behaviors toward you do seem to be cruel and hurtful. Aug 8, 2024 · During these episodes, individuals with BPD might say hurtful things they later regret. It's like my conscience is replaced by this evil little demon and it delights in hurting my loved ones with my words. Apr 8, 2025 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD): BPD involves deep ambivalence about emotional attachments, severe mood swings, and an unstable self-image. When I’m splitting and I’m in a rage, I often have a split second where I realise the words I’m saying are actually hurtful/will upset someone and it probably makes me a shitty person but I still go ahead and say them anyway then the usual cycle of shame and guilt later on follows. but keep in mind, this isn’t malicious intent. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She would say hurtful things and then turn around and claim she only wanted me to be healthy and happy. For the most part, I have learned to not take what he says to heart. And they are terrified. It's very hurtful to be accused of doing something you didn't do. Mar 13, 2025 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that impacts how you think, feel, behave, and identify with other people—even yourself. 1 day ago · Borderline Personality Disorder in men is more common than people think. Mar 27, 2018 · Approximately 6 percent of the adult population in the United States meets the criteria for a borderline personality disorder, according to the largest study on personality disorders to date. Sep 17, 2024 · During these intense rage episodes, a person with BPD may say hurtful things they later regret or engage in destructive behaviors. Even if it came from a place of frustration or concern for the kids. Especially abuse. Jan 1, 2021 · Hi Caramel, reading your post gave me that anxious, painful feeling I get when I think about the horrible things my ex said and did. It was almost like she blacked out? Posted by u/herroyalmadness - 46 votes and 88 comments Here are some things people with BPD do that mean, “I’m splitting”: 1. someone mentioned themes. These destructive, self-mutilating and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to emotional pain caused by BPD. we say some horrible, dreadful things when this happens. This is commonly referred to as “splitting”. However, many men are unaware that they have it. And we hate it too. His BPD traits were often triggered by sex and intimacy. Maybe talk to a therapist or get a better understanding of quiet bpd & splitting to better empathize with his side of things. . Then afterward, you can't take back those words, and the guilt sets in. If your daughter has BPD, it is very important to recognize that she has a personality disorder, it’s not something you are doing. Yeah, when I get really angry I want to tear things a part with my hands, scream and say mean things to the person who provoked me (if it's a fight/argument). 90K subscribers in the BPDlovedones community. I say stuff that’s harmful and so cruel without even realizing it. May 12, 2014 · People with BPD may say irrational things as if they really believe them. Saying hurtful things “I say hurtful things to get out my pain, then almost immediately apologize and beg them not to leave. Don’t get me wrong, DBT has helped me immensely. I just kept my cool and reassured her everything was okay but it spiraled out of control. This is a maladaptive form of coping that pushes others away. after our episode, we feel tremendous guilt and regret Oct 12, 2020 · Many individuals with BPD lash out at others frequently and those around them come to expect the aggression and are guarded and eventually become guarded and defensive towards the BPD sufferers "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Oct 24, 2024 · Individuals with borderline personality disorder can be hurtful in their projection of self-loathing onto others. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are 11 of them: “I feel like I’m a burden to everyone. Obviously we don’t know the full context of the cause of this statement, but I think you’re splitting right now because of it. Jul 31, 2019 · 1. Doctors say many men hide their feelings. It's important to note that this anger is often rooted in deep-seated emotional pain and fear of abandonment. Feeling guilty about saying extremely hurtful things when triggered. A week later I tried to confront her about the things she said and a couple things I mentioned she completely denied ever saying those things. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the… Sep 18, 2024 · Discover 11 effective ways to improve communication skills while living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These signs can resemble other problems, so they are often overlooked. she may talk about things you’re insecure about, things you might have said, etc. I think this is partly an attempt to give me "just enough" scraps to believe that she cares and partly just her saying things she thinks moms are supposed to say (without backing it up with actual selfless acts. ” People with BPD often feel like they are a burden to others, even though they may Mar 28, 2019 · Here are some things people with BPD do that mean, “I’m splitting”: 1. I have had some pretty public outbursts out of fear and jealousy that I’m not proud of. ’ A way I combat this is telling myself they must be busy and they wouldn’t talk to me if they hated me. Jul 25, 2011 · When there’s a family member diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, it can be frustrating, difficult, chaotic and distressing for all concerned. If you have BPD, you probably feel like you’re on a rollercoaster, not just because of your unstable emotions or relationships, but also the wavering sense of who you are. we rarely ever mean it, but it’s the quickest way for us to detach and protect from emotional harm. Because of the inward nature of quiet BPD, it might be that much harder for you to come right out and tell Another criteria is, “A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation”. We have discussed here quite often false allegations. I would never hurt anyone if I had the choice. Aug 29, 2018 · 3. ” — Megan G. 15. ) how much of this is conscious I need to vent about this and I felt like this might be the place for it. It’s something I struggle with so much despite going to DBT (and taking my meds). Posted May 12, 2014 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. that seems to me, very common with the BPD. There are some effective ways to […] Heat of the moment has people say a lot of hurtful things they don’t mean, as someone who also has BPD I can attest to that. Forgiveness for saying hurtful things can only come about if he's made amends. He didn't do/say the exact things you described, but it still sounds exactly like him. This may be especially true for folks with borderline personality disorder (BPD), many of whom grew up in abusive or invalidating environments that did not encourage straightforward "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). uzwf cwgwzk lturp dkqned mjaachs dozqxym ebvue bmw zyi tcwuc